Dastardly Dreams

Daydreams are good. I have control over those. They can be useful in sorting things out in your head, or escaping,  or even discovering goals.

Nighttime dreams, however are something I could do without. For most of my life, my dreams have been bad. And detailed. I used to have dreams all the time that featured me being kidnapped, chased, followed or in some other imminent danger. There was one where I ended up stabbed in the leg, that was so real, I woke up with a start, my heart racing, and frantically moved my nightgown to check my leg. I was certain I would find a wound or scar there. Happily, I don't dream, or at least remember dreaming, every night.

Nowadays, it's less me in danger, but often my kids, which is far worse. Waking up and taking a moment before you realize that your child is not in fact missing, is for that moment, terrifying. Not all of my dreams are scary anymore, though the bulk of them still are. I also have nights where I dream something so fabulous, happy, joyful, that waking up to reality is the hard part. I've had dreams featuring Noah that have left me in tears in the morning, where I have had glimpses of what I believe is his true, unhindered self. It's magnificent. It also brings some sadness and longing for that day when I can ask him how he feels and he will be able to answer.

I had a dream last night that was short, incomplete, even boring, that in all truth I barely remember. But there was so much joy and love and laughter in it, I would like to have stayed there much longer. I was near bursting with how happy and peaceful I felt. That feeling was quickly gone and replaced by fatigue and stress upon waking. I can never decide if those dreams are some sort of cruel joke, or if they're little seeds of sanity being planted in my brain to get me through the hard bits of life. I never want to read too much into the odd positive dream that I have since they are the exception and not the rule, and I certainly don't want to have to give equal weight to the awful ones, as far as meaning or significance. I know there are those who would analyze and assign meaning to every little detail. I honestly don't see how any of that is any more than a guess.

More useful to me than analysis would be some sort of formula for good dreams only. Or better yet, none at all. My greatest dream these days is to sleep, uninterrupted. I guess this little boy of mine is helping in one sense, by almost never allowing me to reach dream-level-deepness of sleep. Not so much helping on the 'uninterrupted' part.

Do you dream? Do you have recurring themes? Are your dreams more enjoyable than drain?

DMV: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

THE GOOD:  Did you know that you can make an appointment for renewing your driver's license? I was dreading the process, as in the past it has been a massive time drain. But while looking online for the address of the closest DMV, I happened to see that I could fill out my paperwork and set an appointment to go in. So that's what I did. With my printed forms and all the other required papers, in I went, 7 minutes before my scheduled appointment time. A rather burly and scary and large Polynesian cop greeted me- well not greeted, exactly. Bellowed. Yes, he bellowed at me, "What are you here to do?" I told him, was directed to a desk, handed them my things, had a picture taken, and was sent over to the big waiting area where there were already around 10 other people. "So much for an appointment making this faster." I thought. The next cheery DMV worker became available, and what do you know? They called my number. I received several glares from what I assume were the non-appointment-setting group in the waiting room. It was awesome.

They got all flustered at the site of my Canadian birth certificate and weren't sure it was valid. Ummm... people are often born outside of the U.S, folks, and then sometimes, they end up living in the U.S. After checking with a supervisor, and running a check on my Resident Alien card to make sure I was, in fact, born in Canada, and had arrived here legally, and had not done anything illegal or untoward in between, I was cleared to receive my (temporary) license. Phew.

Done. In under 10 minutes. I have to have set some kind of record, especially amongst non-Americans.

THE BAD:  It's anti-climactic when you're all geared up for some government line and waiting room, and then it goes smoothly and quickly. You're out in the parking lot halfway expecting to be pursued and arrested because surely if you were done that fast, you must have done something wrong. I do have a few tragic/comical stories involving other government forms/certificates/photos, but I'll share those some other time. So, at least for the next 5 years, I don't have any little party anecdotes when things turn to one of those "Oh my gosh, the DMV is the worst!" themed conversations. < racks brain for other party material >

THE UGLY:  

How To Ensure You Have The Worst License Picture Ever and Look 40 lbs Over Your Actual Weight and Slightly Stoned

1. Be certain that for at least the 3 nights preceding your renewal, you do not get more than 3 hours of sleep per night. 

2. Make sure your last driver's license picture was decent or even good, because that will jinx you for the next one.

3. Ask for the girl that will ask you a question right before your photo, to which you will be responding while she snaps your picture. You'll know her when you see her. If you know what pure evil looks like.