Music- It's A Love/Hate Thing

Music, most music is really geared toward a certain phase of life, late teens/early twenties when the possibilities seem endless, you just want to go dancing, and you're maybe just naive enough to believe that song lyrics are true to life.  Rod Stewart, you realize as you get older, really had no business singing "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy..." but when you're 20, you're like, hey, why not?  It's kind of ironic and I can totally lip sync to it while I get ready to go out.  And Howard Jones, he was kind of a liar when he slow danced us all into believing that "No One Is To Blame".  Oh, there's someone to blame alright.

As you get into the more sensible settled 30's, music you sang your little heart out to only 5 or 10 years earlier can suddenly come back to bite you in the proverbial behind.  It bites to realize that even though you're a girl, you can't just have fun.  Thanks, Cyndi Lauper.  It's just not nice for someone to look back and see that "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel misled you for years- there's no  heat in your eyes, except maybe what's brought on by allergies or insomnia.  I just heard "If  You Could See Me Now" by Celine Dion and thought what a pretty song, until I really listened to the lyrics, and thought how awful a song it could be for someone who had actually dumped the love of their  life and realized it too late.  It would be enough to make you want to drive your car into a tree.

Not that sad songs don't have their place, they can make you feel like someone understands how cruddy you feel, and I suppose that helps somehow.  But oh, it can just stink when songs you had been almost self-righteously singing along to for years, directed at whatever jerk had most recently crossed your path, take on a whole new meaning when you're looking backward and see the number of people that sang along and probably thought of you.  ("Who Will You Run To?" by Heart or maybe "Thorn In My Side" by the Eurythmics?)

 Or there is the music you've listened to for years, sang along with, enjoyed, and then with more years and experience under your belt, you are horrified at the lyrics' meanings and implications... yes, I mean you, Alison Moyet, you and your "Love Resurrection".  No more blasting you in the car, especially with the kids around.

I enjoy not knowing the real lyrics to songs, sometimes it's best to make up your own because the real ones are just dumb, dirty or depressing.  But I have the unfortunate gift of lyric recall.  I can hear a song a couple of times and know the words before I even realize I do.  There are songs I wish I could forget... there are Milli Vanilli and Backstreet Boys songs I never wanted in my head in the first place that I can still sing start to finish.  Back when "Ice, Ice Baby" was on the radio all the time, I was caught more than once rapping/singing it as I assembled Christmas gift baskets at my job at the time.  Humiliating.

What I want are some songs that speak truth.  Songs that speak to where I am in my life right now.  Where are the dance tunes that bemoan being knee-deep in diapers and spit up?  The songs that talk about my love affair with my favourite pair of jeans that still almost look cute on me post- baby?  Songs that give me hope for a blissful rainy day full of chick flicks and maybe even a nap.  What about one titled "Baby Go Bankrupt With Me"?  I need concrete, real stuff nowadays.

I love Colbie Caillat and Josh Groban for almost making me believe in "Magic" and that maybe I really am a "Machine", even if their catchy tunes are making my head a bit foggy and out of touch with reality, temporarily.  I love my lesser known favourites that are like my little secret like Mike Oldfield, October Project, John McVey, Loreena McKennitt and others.  I love love the songs that have gotten me through rough times- that liar Howard Jones did a lot of that for me in the 80's and 90's.  And Natalie Grant's "Held" was one of the only things that gave me some peace for myself and in thinking about my amazing sister following the death of my sweet brother-in-law nearly four years ago.  Of course I had to pull the car off the road every time it came on, cry, and then try to drive again, but that music said everything I was feeling and hoping better than I ever could have myself.

Over all I know music is a good thing, and I do love it.  I'm not discouraging listening to it.  But if  you suspect it is giving you angst, sadness, false hope, unrealistic expectations, fewer brain cells, ugly thoughts or a need to dance at really inappropriate times or places, you really should just turn it off.  

I've got to leave it at that... I think I'm Bleeding Love.

Eh For Dummies

I've found that there is a lot of confusion in the United States about the proper use of the Canadian word "eh". Sometimes I find it funny when people attempt to use it, and other times I want to yell, "Please STOOOOOOOP!! I'm begging you, use it the right way, or don't use it at all."  So I give to you now, "EH: A Tutorial".

Contrary to popular belief, "eh" is not just thrown on at the end of any and every sentence.  Nor is it used in the way the Fonz  made it famous (Henry Winkler, incidentally, is a very nice guy). 

Eh can be used to assess the continued interest or agreement of the person being addressed, as in, "The guy just flew by me, eh, and I didn't even see him!" to which the listener might respond with a nod or a "yeah?".

Eh can also be used at the end of a declarative sentence to turn it into a question, as in "Nice day, eh?" or "That was the worst game ever, eh?" or "You're a real snob, eh?", or "So you left last week, eh?".  So here it means things like "right?", or "don't you think?", "aren't you?", "isn't it?".

Eh is used to emphasize agreement, like, "I know, eh?"

Eh is used as an exclamation, as in "What a game, eh?!"

Eh is used a bit like "y'know" or "right" or "see", as an unconscious pause mid-sentence.

So that is pretty much all you need to know in order to use "eh" with some level of confidence and accuracy around picky Canadians like myself.  Sorry, but we get a little territorial about things that are strictly Canadian.  I can supply you with a list if you're interested. 

Oh Canada! Great country, eh?  :)

Somebody Stole My Liahona

Why is there no rewind button on life? I cannot even begin to list the number of times I've wished I could go back and say or do something differently. I'm not an overflowing bucket of regret, but sometimes I think we should be allowed a do-over here or there.

There are so many roads you could wind up on, and just based on the seemingly tiniest of decisions, the entire course of life is altered for good. Ever seen the movie Sliding Doors? I love it and hate it because it illustrates that idea so well. I'm not one that buys into "the one" or the "meant to be" stuff. Of course there are exceptions where God has other plans, but we're not beholden to some predetermined destiny thing.  Over all I think there are many different lives we could lead and be happy. Maybe to different degrees, but happy. Different people you could end up with. Different challenges you could face. Different experiences that change you for better or worse. All because of  choices we make.

Of course, there are some of those choices that lead to regret. And others that may have been bad choices, but ultimately got you where you needed to be, some that were initially good, but didn't take you where you'd hoped in the end, and then choices that led you somewhere better than you imagined.

I guess what bothers me, is that so often we aren't making informed decisions. Sometimes we're permitted to go with our best guess. Sometimes our best guess is, well, crappy. It's then that we should get to go back, revisit and rethink, and take some other road that takes us somewhere better. Something akin to stopping and asking a local for directions. We're not commanded in all things, which I'm grateful for, but does that mean that some decision made in haste or under stress or without all the facts or with rose-coloured glasses on should be allowed to skew the entire path of our lives?

That is why I'm grateful for the idea of gratitude. No matter where we are or how we got there, if there is something, anything that we're grateful for, we will be okay. Then that path is a good one. It may be better or worse than we thought, it may have different scenery than we'd hoped for, but I suppose as long as it's heading in the right general direction, we're doing alright.

Now, where the heck am I? Didn't I already pass that tree?