Words, Glorious Words

"I'm ruthless! I have no ruths!" - Doofenshmirtz

It suddenly dawned on me that I have no idea about the root or origin of the word ruthless. It always bothers me when I encounter a word I can't define or explain. I can define this one, but I cannot explain it. So in all of my weird obsessiveness, I went about looking up 'ruthless' to see where it had originated. I found this. http://www.one-step-forward.net/2009/04/word-tidbits-ruthless.html

It is crazy when you start delving into language, and discover just how much of it we have lost over time. There are so many times I'm stuck for a word to describe something, when none of the words I know really fit. Then I read something like that post, and I just want to make people start speaking and writing properly, and completely. I want all the words back.

I know I'm probably very much on my own here, both with my adoration of words and language, and with my sadness at losing more and more of our story along with the language. I can't even bring myself to use 'U' for 'you' in a text or any other of those abbreviations and misspellings. I like words too much. Complete words. Correctly spelled and properly used words. Where are we without them, after all?

If you have managed to read this little musing of mine without nodding off, you are quite simply, ruthful. You really are.

Mmm, Autumn

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns." ~George Eliot

Now that it actually feels like fall, I am so happy. I drove (alone?!) to pick up kids from school today, with "Not Over You" by Gavin DeGraw blasting through my speakers (love me some Gavin) and thick, billowy, many hues of grey clouds overhead. I was the perfect temperature, singing loudly and dreaming of Thai food while still nursing my green drink from this morning. Thing was huge, man.

September was ridiculous. Two ER visits for Noah, the second one resulting in his being admitted (though his neurologist said the first one should have as well), and just days and days that were completely lost to seizures. And it was too hot for September which always makes me a bit cranky. I was incredibly glad to see the month end.

I have no idea how I am functioning and speaking and standing upright. Grey, while perfection during the day, is a nightmare at night. Sixteen months and the child still cannot sleep through the night. I have not experienced a single night with REM sleep since before he was born. I shudder to think of the rate at which things are breaking down inside of me as I push through each day on essentially just nighttime naps.

But odd as it sounds, I relish autumn. I feel rejuvenated, content and thrive on overcast crisp days with some wind and rain mixed in. This is no replacement for sleep, mind you, but it's wonderful anyway. The kids start getting giddy this time of year too, as Halloween and its accompanying sugar rush are just around the corner, followed by American Thanksgiving, two of our birthdays, and then Christmas. Though they have yet to realize that this year for Christmas, they will be getting a stack of hospital bills and will be regaled with Tales of the ER, gathered around our non-functioning gas fireplace. It's the stuff Christmas dreams are made of.

For now, I wish everybody a happy apple and pear eating, leaf crunching, scarf wearing, cinnamon-laced baking, rosy-cheeked, blanket-wrapped, autumn.