I Believe.

Christmas. Easily my favourite time of year. This year, it looked to be a scary time of year as we looked at our situation and wondered how we would find a way to avoid seeing disappointed little faces on Christmas morning. So I decided to sell apples. I figured I could at least try something. It went well. I was satisfied that we could at least keep a little bit of magic alive with what I earned. I was (and am) exhausted, and under the weather, but it was totally worth it. I believe in hope and hard work. I believe they pay off.

But then there were still many things, written in childish letters, and wished for from sweet little lips, that we didn't have and could not provide. I assured myself that it would not matter, that all would be well. I have literally done all I could do this Christmas. But then a knock at the door... bags of gifts and two plain envelopes, and 2 faces with sly, no, merry grins that we did not recognize, only identifying themselves as Santa's helpers. Presents, some that were precisely those yet-unfulfilled wishes, and much more... we, humbled parents, sat and cried. And cried. There are times there are just no words. How did they know? How could they have known? Who could have done this? Was it one person or a group of people? Questions hung in the air, but were in the shadows of the gratitude we were feeling. Money donated toward Noah's tuition... they could not fully know- that's like breath to our son's lungs. I believe in angels. I believe in goodness for goodness' sake.

There have been cards, offering extra help. There have been friends, stretching themselves to relieve my stress. And not one bit of it has gone unnoticed or unappreciated. In fact, there has been amazement, momentary disbelief, there have been prayers of thanks, many tears... and strengthened faith. It's not even my birthday or anything. It's Jesus' birthday. I always tell my kids that we get to have presents at Christmas because Jesus loves us and shares His birthday, and His presents with us. Santa Claus is just Jesus' delivery guy, as far as they know. It turns out, Jesus sent out a few more beautiful "delivery guys" this year. I believe in the Christmas Spirit. I believe that Jesus Christ will always find ways to show us that He is still there, and that Christmas is still His day. I believe one day I will help to make somebody else's Christmas as profoundly full of His love as you Christmas angels, known and anonymous, have done for us.

Somewhere, A Fat Lady Sings

That's it. 22o apples ordered, and I'm calling it good. I guess it's kind of like women say about having kids, you just know when you're done. What I should have anticipated, and didn't, is that most people would want their apples in the week or so before Christmas, and as a result, I have scarcely left my kitchen for the last week, and won't for the next five days. My original goal was to sell at least 200, so having slightly exceeded that, I'm content to close up shop (five days from now), and cram a month's worth of Christmas shopping and preparations into a couple of days. But at least now I can do the cramming, which didn't seem likely or even possible about a month ago.

I am so grateful for everyone who supported me and who ordered, I've been pleasantly surprised at the response, really. I wish I was talented at something less messy and less fattening (for all of you, I doubt these apples will look appealing to me for quite some time), but nobody wants anything I could fashion from yarn or paper or I don't know, vinyl. I'm also oddly relieved that I can start filling my blog with all the randomness I've been pondering alone the last month and a half. So Merry Christmas, everyone. And, note to Barbara Streisand, "Favorite Things" is not a Christmas song.