Pensive reflection or contemplation, sadness, gloom.
Places I've been, things I've done, people I've loved, people I've lost, hard things I've overcome, oppourtunities I've missed, joyful times I don't get to do over... I really don't have time to reflect or be pensive about any of these things, but I must say I'm guilty, I've rounded the bases of the melancholic many a day.
Not a big wallower, I spend a good deal of time going back over fun, hilarious things from my life too. But you must admit, there's something about hearing a certain song, while it's raining outside and there's no one around to interrupt your thoughts... or seeing old pictures and feeling that little bit of sadness welling up underneath the smile those same pictures put on your face. As I've experienced some of those things lately, I've wondered, what's the point? What is the use of this seemingly useless state of mind?
I tend to be a big thinker anyway. I don't usually say a lot of what comes to mind, even when I probably should ( which is improvement from my younger days, when more often the opposite was true). So maybe feeling a bit melancholy is a bi-product of thinking too much...? Sometimes, for me, I think it's a way of taking stock of mistakes, successes, and those things or people I hope to revisit one day, whether in this life or the next, and sorting through it all, searching for the memories worth keeping.
This contemplation, whether pensive or sad, is something I'm sure we all have in common. We have all lived, after all, so I think there's no avoiding it. And why would we want to? I know I've got some great moments and a fabulous soundtrack so far, and I'm nowhere near done yet.
5 comments:
I am so very depressed now , thanks Wendy.
I do what I can, Jackie. :)
Emotions are beautiful. Even the sad ones. Okay it doesn't feel like it at the time. But it's what makes us human. To feel is to love - good or bad.
When I'm having negative thoughts, I find that music fills in the spaces. And I don't necessarily mean church music. The other day it was way-too-crazy music from my high school days. Days when I'm ranting in my head, planning how to put my husband in his place (haha), I try to catch myself and put on music. Our heads talk to themselves if they don't have something else to keep them busy. Maybe it doesn't apply to you at all but a couple times in my life when I was really depressed, it helped. Music. Loud, soft, meaningful, or just noise.
But you know music MUCH better than I do.
Well put. :)
I do that sometimes. I think I'll go listen to some music now. :)
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