To say we had some trouble naming this last baby would be a wee bit of an understatement. I wish we had our happily ever after where that's concerned, but I'm not so sure. That's the root of the problem really, I'm not so sure.
Once we had narrowed down to Theo and Graham, I figured we'd just sort of know after we sat on it for a few days. Didn't happen. Jeremy, who I'm sure thought he was being accommodating and helpful, was great with either name. The kids were split. Duncan and Marley liked Theo, and Gabriel preferred Graham. So it came down to me.
My first choice was and still is Graham. I have loved this name for a long time. I grew up hearing it since it was the name of one of my dad's friends and past business associates. He and his family let our family use their vacation cottage in Nova Scotia a few times growing up which made for some great vacations and memories. This Graham also worked with the British government alongside Margaret Thatcher, and ended up being knighted. So then it was always Sir Graham after that, which upped the awesome factor in my mind.
I planned on at least some of the time, nicknaming the baby Grey for short, also positively associated with something in my childhood. My hands-down-no-contest best years of school were grades 6-8, when I attended a tiny private school called Grey Gables. Just hearing or saying the name still makes me smile.
The problem came 10 days in once we actually turned in his papers with "Graham Jack" on them. I was initially happy with it, but 2 and a half days later, I couldn't take it anymore. With just the few people we told, it was already being pronounced wrong. Well, wrong to me. In Canada (and some other countries and states), it's pronounced "Grey-em" or "Grey-um", with two distinct syllables. Here in Utah, most people say "Gram". That's what I have called my Gramma for years. You can't call my baby boy Gram.
He's already going to run into correcting pronunciation all the time with our last name, and I didn't want him to have to do it with his first name too. So back we went. Mulling it over. In a last minute decision, just hours before his baby blessing, we decided to go with Theo, which we really do like, and keep Graham as the second name so we had the option to use it if we changed our minds again. Theo is a good boy or man name, and has a wonderful meaning as the short form of Theodore which means "gift of God". So fitting for this boy.
But then everybody was calling him Theo, and I wondered why we even kept Graham in there since nobody's using it. It's just going to mean one more name he has to write on forms for his whole life. I still call him Theo Grey much of the time, and honestly, I still think of him as Graham in my mind. I'm second guessing myself all over the place, and I have no idea if there's a way to settle it and then just leave well enough alone.
All the other kids' names just came and then just fit. I didn't expect to struggle, ever, with naming my child. He's six weeks old today. I'm still sleep deprived, and still wondering if I've made the right choice. Maybe Marley's got something- she was calling him Snuggers the other day (well, Thnuggerth, the way she says it). I'm sure he wouldn't hate us at all for using that one.
8 comments:
This is why I think the name should be picked BEFORE giving birth. Mothers to newborns are crazy and hormonal as it is and should not make any decisions until the child turns 1.
I just realized that you gave him three names. When you first announced him, I just thought you were being open about the paternity change.
;)
Congratulations. I love Theo. I have one myself! He just turned 3 on the weekend. My sister has a Graham and I remember her annoyance when he was born and she got a card from some American relatives that referred to him as "Gram". One of Theo's many merits is that it is tough to mispronounce.
I admit I never considered pronouncing it any way but "Gram" - but I like it! Theo is great too. Maybe you'd rather call him Theodore. Anyway I'm sure if you decide to change it, that will be okay. But maybe it's okay as is?
And yes, as of three minutes ago, I am stressing over OUR baby name again. Great. =o) I decided to let it go, because surely we'd be hit with inspiration at the last minute. But I can totally see myself in your situation. Good luck with the second-guessing.
(Luckily the worth of a person isn't dependent on their name. Or is it? Oh dear.)
I say lose the Theo. tell people his name is Graham but we call him Grey, then they'll just say Grey and you won't have to hear them mispronounce it. People always had a hard time with my name not pronouncing it once I told them what it was but just figuring out how to say it in the first place. I was called Jane-y for half my third grade year. one guy saw it written down gave it 3 syllables and asked if it was jamaican- haha!! I used to get upset but
i learned to not care. Especially when I met my best friend in highschool named jana and that's what people started calling me too. my nieces and nephews still say "aunt Jana" when talking to me. I figure it's better than "hey you"
"what's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name (or mispronounced) would smell as sweet" :)
love you!!
ps if it really bothers you either way just know it might still bother you years down the road. you have until he's 8 years old to change it without going through the court process. I still wish i would have changed the spelling of Kail's name. I still try to convince myself that 'K' is not a girl letter, but it has stuck with me ever since someone said it. I should have spelled it Cael. I could kick myself.
Our 4th kid was THE hardest to name. I feel like we've gone with the lesser of two evils. There just wasn't one name that totally spoke to me when she was born. Her name has grown on me but I still have to correct people all. the. time. But I think she'll do well with Jaina (rhymes with Dana) AND I know for certain there will be no other Jainas in her school classes growing up....at least 98% certain!
People change their names AND they also start picking up on the nicknames, so just go with it.
I'm with JaNae, I think you should stick with Graham. It sounds like you really do prefer it over Theo. I also LOVE the nickname Grey so maybe I'm partial. :) Good luck deciding!
My name has been mispronounced and continues to be mispronounced, but I still love it, so much so I cursed my first-born with it. Let your honey be Graham.
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