1. "Give me a break." means nothing. Nobody can and nobody will.
2. "I'm so tired." means I want to tidy non-stop, break up fights, and make a lovely dinner which most of you will complain about having to eat.
3. "Come here." means stay right where you are and pretend you didn't hear me.
4. "Put away your clean laundry." means take it into your room complaining mightily the whole way, and then toss it around the room so that none of the floor is visible.
5. "I need to get out." means, when it's convenient for everyone else, and not at all for me, I'd like to explore the grocery store thoroughly, all alone, at an ungodly hour and call that time for myself.
6. "No more candy." means quick, run to the pantry, grab what you can reach, cram it in your mouth wrappers and all, and I'll be happy to clean up the vomit in your bed in an hour or so.
7. "Be quiet, the baby is sleeping." means scream, yell, throw things, ride every possible wheeled toy across the wood floor, chase your siblings, and feel free to walk right in to baby's room for no reason at all.
8. "I don't want to watch this." means I want to watch one of the other shows that I can't stand, just not this one.
9. "Go clean your face." means sit right there and use that perfectly clean shirt you're wearing to wipe up dinner and your runny nose all in one convenient swipe.
10. "I love you." means I love you. And we'll do it again tomorrow.
6 comments:
On a similar note... Locking the bathroom door means - quickly go find something to jimmy it open because I can't possibly want any privacy.
I hope you don't mind, but I'm forwarding this to Ben at work. I'm sure he'll learn something from it, oops I mean, enjoy reading it. =o)
when I say "no" I actually mean yell and whine louder and longer, and if we're in the store lay down on the dirty floor and cry.
Haha this is fantastic. So perfectly worded as usual! You moms are amazing :)
Think I'll have to pass this on too... :)
Love it!! I could write a whole list like this about Chase....and Chase alone! heres a recent one "Be quiet Lainy's sleeping" apparently means, Sure, go in her room, climb into her crib, start jumping and turn on her mobile 10 minutes after I just put her down!" he's done this twice....she now has a lock on the outside of her door :) Gotta love the terrible twos....or maybe it's just boys in general??
So true- in my house it's "Stop playing with water in the house" means fill up spray bottles, sinks (emptying all the hand soap in), cups, bowls, and any other possible container you can find; to feed imaginary pets, conduct experiments, create culinary masterpieces or just to drive your mom crazy and make her slip on all the water spills.
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